Truly Valuable

I remember the day my cat died. I was down at school and my mom called to break the bad news.

She was upset and I was in the kitchen washing a pot. I was home alone and my heart sank.

I felt bad that my mom and brother found him. I was pissed that I wasn’t there.

The Sunday before I drove back down to school, his cry sounded a little different, but I couldn’t quite understand what he was saying.

I knew now.   Continue reading

A Bigger Mallet

Well, I’m back. I’m finally spending some time at my desk. For the past few weeks, I’ve been busy. I haven’t published a thing. Heck, I’ve barely written much at all.

And of course, I’ve been beating myself up about it. Thinking about how I should have stayed focused and powered through. I should have pulled all nighters until my words turned to gold.

But how foolish does that sound? If I’m fried, I’m fried. I can try (which is what we should do) but it’s unlikely that I’d produce anything of value.

Which is perfectly fine.

Why should we fault ourselves when we’re trying our best? Even when we aren’t trying our best, is it that big of a deal? Does beating ourselves over the head with repetitive thoughts ever solve anything? Continue reading

Make It Through

Sometimes when it rains it pours. Sometimes when it rains it drizzles. There’s never really a rhyme or reason.

I guess we could get scientific or spiritual and come up with an explanation, but that won’t change the way we feel when the family picnic gets ruined by a hailstorm.

The “why” just gets in the way. Instead of being able to experience what life feels like, we’re busy demanding or supplying answers. As if it’s going to completely soothe our emotions.

It might help, but it’s not a solution. Life has no loopholes. Hacks don’t really work.

Life is what it is. Happiness, peace, love, pain, fear, death, beauty. Plus more. Make your own list. See what emotions resonate with you right now. Continue reading

Happy Independence Day

Everyone loves fireworks. Except for my dog Dez.

He’s not enjoying the never ending display of explosions happening in the neighborhood.

He’s never had a problem with fireworks in the past, but that changed this year. Our neighbor got the good stuff. No sparklers or confetti poppers around here.

We all know what happens when amateurs get their hands on the stuff meant for pros. They screw things up. We’ve all see the videos. And that’s exactly what happened Friday night. Continue reading

Everyday Life

The other day I was driving next to a pickup truck that was flying two American flags. They flapped in the wind as we drove.

When we stopped, I noticed how beat up both flags were. The edges were tattered and torn from the wind.

I thought to myself, how could the wind do that? Then I laughed and thought about how the invisible forces in our lives wear on us the same way.

But really these forces aren’t invisible. We just distract ourselves with busyness. Intentionally or unintentionally ignoring what’s too hard to handle.

Things like fear. Not fear of seeing the doctor. That’s little fear. I mean big fear, like the fear that we may leave this world never having achieved the things we had hoped to.

That’s hard to imagine. That’s hard to think about. That’s hard to live with. Continue reading