Stop judging yourself harshly. An infinite amount of conditions, causes and effects have led you here. Scan over some of the circumstances that have impacted your life and notice the ways they’ve directed you. Seeing the circumstances makes it a lot easier to appreciate yourself just as you are. Your story wasn’t built on a bunch of things you’ve done right or wrong, some things just happened and you’ve done your best to work with them.
From an impersonal place, you see your whole story from a new perspective. This is all just happening. Everything is different. Everything is unique. Try to appreciate what is unique and don’t take life so personally, even your own. This isn’t a detached point of view, it’s more holistic, allowing for more acceptance and less aversion.
Hold your personality lightly. Don’t worry, you won’t forget who you are and people won’t forget what they remember you as. Externally, nothing changes. It’s the internal attachment that loosens and allows your entire being to become light and free. Do you prefer to be free or tightly confined by your personality? A personality isn’t a bad thing, but becoming too entangled in it can lead to a lot of internal struggle.
I’m sure you’ve heard the expression about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. That only works if you have a reference point from which you can see both sides of the coin. To apply this expression to one’s own life, I translate it as wearing the shoes then seeing the shoes. Wearing them is the lived experience and seeing them is understanding that what they’ve stood, walked or ran through, is what determines their condition. Whether your shoes are worn out, battered, bruised or pristine, it doesn’t matter. It’s all ok, just keep walking and keep paying attention. When you love your shoes, notice it. When you hate your shoes, notice it. You’ll figure it all out from there.